Now that you’ve gotten to know each other online and by telephone, it will become obvious at some point that you’ll need to meet in person for any kind of romance to proceed. Meeting in person can be a nervous and exciting encounter, and may lead to a great relationship in the future- don’t rush things, and don’t be afraid to set your limits. Remember that a first date is not a commitment for life, and despite the perceived pressure to affirm your online feelings in person, recognize that it’s okay for relationships not to work out, and you’re better off cutting bait early before real emotions get involved, than force yourself to tolerate a mate that drives you crazy just because you’re too nice to end the relationship.
The Date- It is a good idea to meet in a public place, and keep the initial arrangement as informal as possible- you don’t want to be stuck in the middle of a 5-course-meal only to realize you hate the person after 20 minutes of talking with them. Even before you go, make sure you tell a friend where you will be, make sure they know when you expect to be back, and call them to ensure them you are okay at the end of the date. While on your date, be attentive to your intuitions, and don’t let yourself get forced into any uncomfortable situations. And despite the urge to cast aside your inhibitions with a few glasses of wine, it’s best not to get drunk on your first date, and be careful about even leaving your drink unattended.
As there is a significant potential that you will instantly recognize a lack of attraction, it is wise to schedule the date in two phases- a “snack date” and then an “extended date”. Don’t do ‘movie and a meal’ on the first date; if you’re not attracted to your date from the start, there’s no point in wasting the time or money on sitting through a movie together only to feel obligated to follow up with a meal. Meet in the early evening and get coffee, or ice-cream, or anything that can be cut off after 30 minutes if you realize that you’ve gone down the wrong path with this match without being obnoxiously rude. If things go well, you’ll have plenty of time to lose yourselves in deep conversation, and it’s a good idea to have a few follow-up activities at hand, such as going bowling, going to a show, or getting a more satisfying meal together. If you’re both still enjoying the date after an hour has passed, you’re well on your way to a second date, so just play it by ear and enjoy the blooming romance.
Date Follow Up- From here you’re really on your own. There are plenty of books and guides for general romance that can help you if you need any more instruction- at this point you’re offline and basically into the normal world of real-life dating.
Before you go out on your first date, you should still review these few safety pointers to ensure yourself a safe an sane dating experience.