This is the most important tool you will use on any dating site, as it allows you to address carefully thought out personalized messages to potential partners, and carries the ‘getting to know you’ dialog of most online relationships. Virtually everyone on the Internet has an email account and knows how to use email effectively, so this tool caters to even the most basic online dater’s technological abilities.
Just as with the Initial Contact feature, the Email tool is a ubiquitous application that lets you send a direct message to someone of interest, but with the advantage of being able to communicate in your own words, and share personal contact information as you and your match deem appropriate.
While it is tempting to write out a form introduction letter, and mail it to every profile you find attractive, these tend to come across as self-centered marketing campaigns rather than heartfelt expressions of interest. Think about it, anyone looking for romance wants to feel that they are unique or special to the person they are with- if you send out a formatted introductory letter to more than one person, then how could you possibly be saying anything about why their particular profile was interesting to you?
At the same time, an initial introduction letter does not need to be an essay on why you think you are the perfect match for each other- slow down, you haven’t even met each other yet. Take the time to craft a short paragraph or two about why their profile stood out from the crowd, and what you feel that you have in common based on a careful reading of their profile. Close with a single line affirming your interest and inviting them to respond if they are interested.
It is not advisable to pass out personal information such as telephone numbers or where you live until you have established a substantial dialog first, and you should proceed in a step-by-step fashion that advances first to correspondence via personal emails rather than through the dating website, then to telephone, and ultimately to a real date. Use the email function of these sites to establish a basis for taking the first step in getting to know each other, and recognize that while this process prescribed above may seem tedious, it is not necessarily time consuming- could be effectively employed in its entirely within 24 hours of meeting someone, and establishes a safe means of getting to know someone while limiting your exposure to violations of your personal privacy.